Palin Steps Down

Ya' see what CNN's a sayin' about Sarah Palin?

What's she gonna' be doin' now? Maybe she'll be rejoinin' the pageant circuit.

...or givin' speeches about teen pregnancy, dontcha' know.

I Couldn't Resist A Stab at Mitt

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"If this doesn't get me a girlfriend, nothing will..."

I usually don't post videos quite this random, but this was so impressive I thought I'd make an exception. Enjoy.

Miss California's Controversial Response

Last night fellow Pirate Kristen Dalton (Miss North Carolina) won the title of Miss USA. Let me begin by congratulating her while adding that I would have preferred at least a little shout out to ECU and Pirate Nation.  It's refreshing to see ECU students in news stories not involving arrests and police beatings.  When this guy is your most famous alum, those can be somewhat understandable if not expected.  

But the crown has not come without its share of controversey (and probably some botox, a boob job, a fake tan, veneers, and an unhappy childhood with a mother that could never be satisfied).  First runner-up Carrie Prejean (Miss California) believes that her answer to a question about gay marriage cost her the title.  The question came from openly gay pop-blogger Perez Hilton, who later admitted that he was 'shocked' by Prejean's response.  "There were various other ways she could have answered that question, and still stayed true to herself without alienating millions of people," he said. 

Hilton asked:  

Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?

Prejean responded: 

Well I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. Um, we live in a land that you can choose same sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and in, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there. But that's how I was raised and that's how I think that it should be between a man and a woman.

Uhh, what?  Did any of that make sense?  Let's try it line by line:

Well I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other.

Carrie, sweetie, Californians were able to choose one or the other (gay marriage, straight marriage, or no marriage) until this past year.  Now Californians, like North Carolinians, Texans, and many other Americans have no choice in the matter because gay marriage is illegal.  What America are you talking about?

Um, we live in a land that you can choose same sex marriage or opposite marriage... 

Um, we absolutely do NOT live in a land that you can choose same sex marriage or "opposite marriage" (whatever-the-hell that means).  

...and, you know what, in my country and in, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman.

You think that you believe?  Hmm. Interesting.  Funny that two seconds ago your country had a choice, but now in your country you and your family believe marriage should be between a man and a woman...you think.  

No offense to anybody out there.

With a well thought-out articulate position like that, there was none taken, I'm sure.  

But that's how I was raised and that's how I think that it should be between a man and a woman.

Well, that settles it then!  What do you think about the economy?  

Now people are going nuts about this, and some are even saying that Prejean should considering a lawsuit against the pageant for discrimination of her views, but even the most ardent supporters of traditional marriage must see that this response is reminiscent of Miss Teen South Carolina's legendary assault on reason and the English language in the finals of the Miss Teen USA pageant in 2007, right? I mean, c'mon!  

I think it's safe to say that Prejean's response cost her the title of Miss USA.  What hurt her most, however, was not her opinion about gay marriage, but her inability to clearly and articulatly express those views the way a Miss USA should.  In 2009 "because my family raised me that way" just doesn't cut it.  Let this be a reminder to like-minded right-wingers in the blogernacle and on Facebook praising Miss California for standing up for what she believes in; just saying you disagree doesn't count for jack when you can't explain why.  

"Like the Iraq and the South African countries, like, such as..."

UPDATE: You can watch all of the thought provoking responses to the judges' questions below!

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I Just Love Glenn Beck's Sanity

...and I fear for it.

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Timothy Geithner Uses TurboTax

You just can't imagine how this makes me feel inside. A tribute to my favorite economist.

The Saddest Haiku of the Year

Denver email reads:
"Sorry Soxy. Waitlisted."
Eight-Zero-and One.

--------

No lucky Denver Mints for me

Law School Admissions Haiku with Commentary

Today during class I decided to compose a few haiku. I don't know jack about haiku...even if "haiku" is the correct plural form, so I basically just wrote down ideas that came to my head in the 5/7/5 syllable format. I even asked other law school applicants at a website I visit often to submit their own haiku about the stressful law school application and admissions process. Some are dumb, some are pretty funny, and many are undoubtedly too filled with pre-law jargon for the lay person to understand.

Below are some of my favorite.

Run to the mail box.
Could there be an acceptance?
Just spam from Cooley.

-SoxyPirate

Ok, so this one is pretty simple. It's the first one that came to my mind. Obviously, it's about the agonizing walks back and forth from the mailbox each day. Cooley, or the Thomas M. Cooley School of Law, can mean a number of different things. First, it's widely regarded as one of the worst law schools in the country, not necessarily because it's a bad school, but because their own BS rankings place them amongst the very best law schools, due to ridiculous criteria such as square footage of library or number of barber shops within 5 miles of the school. More generally, "Cooley" simply means a low ranked school that you have no interest in. In this sense, you can get spam mail from many "Cooley's."

bored, sitting in class
should be studying econ
composing haiku

-SoxyPirate

Speaks for itself. Here are a few more self explanatory ones:

Everyday the same
Another Waitlist Appears
Only like, no love

-dantimreynolds

Generous mailman...
Give me your sweet gifts today!
Blender Magazine.

-beepermad

a cold p.o. box
a key turns, the door opens--
the sound of torture

-cho

A click of the mouse
Words on screen do not sink in
Dream quietly fades

-geoffree

So much I crave mail.
Each day I stalk the mail man
Each day I feel sad.

-carolinagirl0724

Here's one that made me laugh out loud during class. I had to cover it up like I was coughing.

One gets into Yale
Another in at Harvard
Man, they are assholes

-pany1985

On the website where we are sharing these, there is a very elitist mentality. People who get into Harvard can't imagine why anyone would go to Chicago. Those who go to Berkeley can't imagine why anyone would go to Duke. And anyone that gets into a top 20 school can't imagine why any of the rest of us would even go to law school. Pany's haiku pretty much sums up how "the rest of us" feel about those kids.

In that spirit:

So you got into
Harvard, Yale and Stanford Law
Still, I nailed your girl

-takingmytime

After voicing my approval of Pany's haiku, I got this response:

I was just clapping out syllables at work. I used to be so much better at haiku in elementary school. I suck at life.

-seb819

In the spirit of the exhibition, I replied:

Clapping syllables
I used to be much better
ah, I suck at life

-SoxyPirate

Which was followed by:

Haiku-izing words
Adorn my office montage
Co-workers just stare

-FlightOfTheEarls

Here are a few that will require some commentary:

I am a weak split,
Waitlisted at top thirties;
Learn to love region.

-badlydrawn

A "splitter" is someone with a high LSAT/low GPA or vice versa (like me). It's generally pretty difficult for splitters to predict whether they'll get into a particular school, because they may have one number that is outstanding compared to the rest of the school's applicants, and another that is mediocre at best. Badlydrawn feels like his "weak split" will only manage to get him into a "regional" (lower ranked) school, where his employment prospects are pretty poor outside of the school's region.

Applied very late
Also a weak splitter too
Yay George Washington

-CaptainCubicle

(Is George one syllable?)

...which prompted this reply from our clapping friend

Oh, Just clap it out
You'll probably look foolish
But who gives a [sh*t]?

-seb819

We also have:

The status checker
Torments my soul to no end
But I still love it!

-OperaAttorney

Law school applicants are all too familiar with the infamous "status checker." Many schools provide a website where applicants can see up-to-the-minute updates on the status of their application, be it "complete," "under review," or "decision processed." Many of us spend countless hours hitting "refresh" while staring at our status checker.

UNC emails:
"Congratulations, you're in!"
Later, "not so fast..."

-SoxyPirate

Today UNC sent out a flood of acceptance emails by mistake. Moments later, after an overwhelming number of incoming calls and emails, they corrected their error by sending another email asking applicants to disregard the earlier email. Torture.

In my obsession
I use jargon you don't get
Sorry, normal friends

-presh

This seems particularly appropriate for this blog post.

And finally:

On a message board
Filled with repeated questions
This thread is awesome

-Fup

There were dozens and of haiku submitted, and some were not family-or-blog friendly, but they all made me smile.

These were two I put on Facebook today:

East Carteret High
The worst 4 years of my life
Just let me forget...

-SoxyPirate

East Carteret High
Where I learned to write Haiku
Now I use to slight

-SoxyPirate

Anyone out there have any interesting or relevant haiku to add to the mix?

8 for 8

I received an acceptance letter from Louisville yesterday. 8 for 8 with 6 more to go. The next 6 will bring the thunder and lightning, I think.

Which song did you think of...

when I said I was accepted at Oklahoma? (This question will probably be lost on anyone but my family members.)







Or my favorite:



I always felt bad for poor ol' Jud Fry.

6 for 6........UPDATED BELOW: 7 FOR 7!

I received an acceptance letter from Stetson Law today, making me 6 for 6 so far this cycle. For those of you keeping tabs, I've now been accepted at: UPDATE: OKLAHOMA EMAILED MY ACCEPTANCE THIS MORNING!

• Miami
• Campbell
• Penn State
• Creighton
• Elon
• Stetson
• Oklahoma
  

I'm still waiting to hear from:

• Florida State
• Tennessee
• Richmond
• Louisville
• Denver
• Arizona State
• Utah

This might sound really...well...wrong, but so far my acceptances have not been...well...unanticipated [Update: Oklahoma was one of the "big boys"], as my numbers have been in the top 25% (at least) among all applicants at each school. That's not to say that I'm not absolutely thrilled to be accepted at these schools, only that the "easy" waiting is over (it wasn't easy, I had nightmares that I wouldn't get in anywhere!), and with the exception of Louisville the next batch of admissions letters are much less predictable. (I should note, I don't think I'm "guaranteed" to be accepted at Louisville, or anywhere else for that matter, only that the likelihood of being accepted at Louisville is much higher, compared to some of the other schools I've yet to hear from).

Still, even with the remaining schools left to hear from, Penn State and Stetson [Update: OU too!] will remain top contenders, regardless of where else we're accepted (I say "we're," because Lauren's stuck in this with me, bless her heart). Decisions, decisions, decisions!

I Got Soul...

Chris Martin (Coldplay), Brandon Flowers (The Killers), and Bono (U2) join up for an impromptu rendition of one of my nephew Zac's old favorites during an epic encore performance.

(Mama, you might not want to watch, as the picture is very shaky.)

Wii Fit

Where I've Been

Regular readers of this blog may be wondering where the daily analysis-filled posts have gone, and why I've replaced them with random videos, links, and minimal effort/commentary. Well, I suffer from a very specific form of Seasonal Affective Disorder. From December to March (roughly) I generally feel sluggish, uninspired, uncreative, and unmotivated. Even as I wrote that last sentence I had a really hard time coming up with simple words like "uninspired." It's more difficult for me to get out of bed, to go to class, to study, to finish my assignments, or do a lot of the things that are typically very easy for me. Every "B" I got in undergrad was during the Spring semester, due in part to this funk I find myself in every year.

My friends have come to affectionately call this my "off season." My symptoms, however, are not necessarily associated with cold weather or fewer hours of sunlight...I think. As strange as it sounds, my winter blues start at the end of baseball and college football, and I don't snap out of it until I can finally watch Peter Gammons, Steve Phillips, Karl Ravech, and John Kruk nightly on "Baseball Tonight." I know how crazy this sounds, but it's the honest-to-goodness truth.

This past year has been an especially exciting one, which makes this off-season an especially difficult one. Last Spring my father, my brother, and I drove down to Florida for Spring Training for the first time. I graduated from college in May and then got married a week after. On our honeymoon we saw Jon Lester's no-hitter against the Royals at Fenway. The Sox had a hell of a year and made it to game 7 of the ALCS despite a ton of injuries and some trades that should have significantly hurt our chances. Luckily, I was able to go straight from baseball to football this year without missing a step, as my Pirates started this year as strong as ever, being ranked as high as 14th in the country en route to a conference championship and a Liberty Bowl appearance. On top of all that, there was an election this year!

Maybe it's easy to see why this Winter has been especially low for me. Fear not, however, my faithful readers! Spring is coming, pitchers and catchers have started their workouts, "Baseball Tonight" episodes are being shown more regularly, and I think I see some sunshine outside!

Note to show how unoriginal I feel: This post took me about an hour and it's as boring as it is depressing...

Where's the Outrage?

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You've Crossed the Line Now, B. Hussein Obama!

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Romney 2012!!!

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Holland Pays Tribute to Lantos

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the 12 recently paid tribute to the late Tom Lantos, former Democratic congressman from California, at a gathering commemorating Lantos' life.

According to this news release by the Church News,

Drawing on four decades of friendship with the family of the late U.S. Congressman Thomas P. Lantos, D-Calif., Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve paid tribute to the former chairman of the U.S. House Committee on Foreign Affairs for his "legendary commitment to human rights and justice" and his inspiring example as a family patriarch.

From Lantos' Wikipedia page we see that,

Lantos was a member of the Congressional Progressive Caucus and repeatedly called for reforms to the nation's health-care system, reduction of the national budget deficit and the national debt, repeal of the Economic Growth and Tax Relief Reconciliation Act of 2001, and has opposed Social Security privatization efforts. He supported same-sex marriage rights and marijuana for medical use, was a strong proponent of gun control and was adamantly pro-choice.

Lantos was a well-known advocate on behalf of the environment, receiving consistently high ratings from the League of Conservation Voters and other environmental organizations for his legislative record.

This leads me to perhaps the most obvious question: If Congressman Lantos was able to earn such a high level of respect and admiration for his character and example from Elder Holland, despite what I assume to be their apparent disagreements over social and domestic issues, then why is it so difficult for many conservative-minded Latter-day Saints to accept liberal/progressive Saints like me as moral, righteous, or otherwise equally deserving children of God?

I wonder if Elder Holland has ever asked his friends how any good member of the Church can support candidate so-and-so in light of his position on the issue of (insert the usual suspects here).